Some Plays on Words and Phrases

Sometimes hilarious things pop in my head. Actually, I'd wager that sometimes that doesn't happen. Implying it happens most of the time. Here are some new ones (for me) for you potential comedy writers out there. I don't need any public credit :P  Maybe just a comment or email.

"Do I look like somebody who " ... You know this. "Do I look like someone who checks the toilet seat before they sit down?"  Or "Who cares what color their shirt is?"  etc. Here are a few fun ones I came up with.

"Do I look like somebody who looks like somebody?"   Yeah, pretty bad.

"Do I look like somebody who asks to be compared to anybody by their looks?"  A little better.

"Do I look like somebody who looks at things?"  Might be said by a blind person, so after my original inspiration for this, the ingenuity has been lost and it has been discounted back to lacklustre.

That's all I got though. Any more would be forcing it. You might argue the first 3 are as well ;)

Command Line Commie

Not sure if that's a phrase or not already in existence. But I will take full credit for it.

I'm a Command Line Commie. I prefer command line and GUI tools are a waste of my time. Tell that to me of an hour ago which just upgraded the editor on his website to CKEditor :)

A Chat with a Coworker

Hilarious-to-me stuff bolded 

Mark Coworker: well, do they at least map to properties that have well written property names?
Me:: their property names are their querystring keys
Me:: QS.rdb = 1
Me:: javascript man, it's awesome :)
Mark Coworker: yeah... that's what i avoid with those strongly typed querystring objects of mine.
Mark Coworker: too many query string keys that don't make any sense.
Me:: strongly typed is weakly handwritten
Me:: :P
Me:: just tried to come up with something that you couldn't possibly have a comeback for, and which was cleverly punned
Mark Coworker: i don't understand how i'm the only person here who seems to have an issue with the hard-coding of non-sensical query string keys all over the place.
Me:: personally i depend on url rewriting so that the client doesn't see the querystring names... if the technology allows it easily
Me:: so i don't use querystring in my node.js web apps
Me:: i have a very nice helper method that will look for a unique key in the database... so if you passed it the text, "I dislike Mark Coworker's Strongly Typed Querystrings", with the table and the field (mongodb doesn't know of such things by those names), it will take the whole string, lowercase it, remove non-characters, replace spaces with hyphens, then look to see if that's unique. if not, it will have add an incremented value to the end and find

i-dislike-mark-Coworkers-strongly-typed-querystrings-32
Mark Coworker: =P
Mark Coworker: sorry. ddin't see IM alert until the last message.
Mark Coworker: trying to get CLIENT_REPLACED build ready.
Me::
as the unique key to use in the URL for rewriting

http://www.stuffidislikeaboutmarkcorkwer.com/posts/post-1254/i-dislike-mark-coworkers-strongly-typed-querystrings-32
Me:: heh
Mark Coworker: linky-no-worky
Me:: post 1253 was about wearing sweatshirts on 80 degree days  (EDITOR: side note, the day this chat took place, it was 80 degrees, early October, as we left for lunch and he had his sweatshirt on)
Me:: i mispelled your name in the url anyway
Mark Coworker: you did!
Mark Coworker: even after fixing it, the url still doesn't work.
Me:: yeah, it's down for maintenance, need more database space
Me:: too many posts
Mark Coworker: well, it's not his fault that there are some many things wrong with the world. such as the lack of database space on servers.
Mark Coworker: I'm through half my bottle of Purell
Me:: damn
Mark Coworker: it's a small traveller sized one though.
Me:: i've used half a bottle in my lifetime
Me:: post 1255, germophobe
Mark Coworker: post 1255: half of your office getting sick right before you're hosting a EVENT that took up TIME_SPAN of your life and DOLLAR_AMOUNT dollars to get ready for.
Me:: post 1256: wants editorial authority on site which talks badly about him

Note:  Things like TIME_SPAN and DOLLAR_AMOUNT were editorialized from the original chat so that stuff like that doesn't get public...

Friday is just around the corner

I made this.

Friday

Humility

The ability to lie about how awesome I am.

Don't Overdress

Jason: what are you wearing tonight? i don't want to be over-dressed :P
Jared: same here
Jared: basically like dress pants and a tie
Jared: …no shirt
Jason: shirt and tie for me
Jason: no pants
Jared: good, we won't clash